Gothic Urban Legends
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Killing Gothic Hair:
There was this gothic girl who has a cool hairstyle. Every day she rats it and sprays it with hairspray to keep it up. For over a mounth she hasnt washed it, claiming she loves her hair so much that she dont want to change anything. One day in her classroom at school her teacher happens to notice blood running down her neck. Then she faints and has to be rushed to the hospital and die. Because the girls wasn't washing her hair it go so dirty that cockroaches got inside her brain and ate it.
Killing Gothic Drinks:
Do not ignore this piece of advice! Attempting to obtain a free drink by rocking the machine back and forth can result in serious personal injury or death! An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Nov. 11, 1988, p. 2697) documents 15 cases in which men trying to get a can out of the machine were crushed. 3 died, the other 12 required hospitalization for injuries such as fractures of the skull, toe, ankle, tibia, femur, and pelvis; intercerebral bleeding; knee contusion; and one punctured bladder. The article states that because the sodas are located in the upper half of the machine (so that they can fall into the dispensing slot), the center of gravity of the machine is abnormally high and the machine will fall after it has been tipped only 20 degrees, a deceptively small angle. A large, fully loaded machine can weigh in excess of 1000 pounds. I strongly advocate the policy whereby all Juice Machines must display the label "WARNING: Tipping this machine or any other unstable object weighing in excess of 1000 pounds onto yourself can result in serious bladder injury or death."
Gothic Death On TV:
Jerome Rodale, a 72-year-old health-food guru and author, died on camera while appearing on ABC's "The Dick Cavett Show" on June 5, 1971. Cavett's late-night talk show was formatted like "The Tonight Show," i.e., a guest would be interviewed in a chair next to the host. When the interview was over, the guest would surrender the chair to the next guest, then sit on a sofa on camera for the rest of the show. While interviewing someone else, Cavett noticed that Rodale had slumped over. Cameras continued to roll as stagehands and paramedics tried in vain to revive Rodale, who during his interview declared himself to be in perfect health and would live to be 100. The prerecorded program was never aired. After this incident, Cavett adopted the format now used by Conan O'Brien - when the interview is over, get the guest off the set
Gothic Death Of The Scuba Diver:
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive tank,flippers and face mask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 kilometers away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300m in the air.
The Gothic Lady Of The Lake:
A high school student and his date had been to a dance near White Rock Lake in Dallas, Texas. On their return, they saw a young girl standing in the road waving her arms. They stopped to see what was wrong, in those days it was safe to do this, and noticed she was soaking wet. Her hair was dripping wet and was tangled with algea, and her white prom dress was wet and stained with mud. "We had an accident. My boyfriend drove his car off the bridge here, and I got out, but he didn't. Help me please!" She pleaded.
After over an hour of searching, thus explaining why they got home so late, no car was found, and no sign of anyone else was found in the area. It was late at night, and They started to take her to the police station, but she begged them to take her home instead. She gave them directions into a neighborhood that they had never been in before, and pulled up in front of a house with the porch light on. "Is this the place?" as the boy turning his shoulder over the back of the seat, and found she was gone. "What? Where'd she go?"
He went up to the door, with the best intentions to at last inform the parents of what had just happened. When the dad answered the door, he told his story. Bellowing his rage, the father yelled, "How could you be so cruel. My daughter was killed in an accident 10 years ago today. She and her boyfriend drove off a bridge just a few miles from here and both were drowned. Get away from here and don't ever come back."
Thinking it was his imagination, he went back to his car, and looked in the back seat. There on the seat was the proof of what had happened, a wet spot, right in the middle of the back seat.
So, you use your imagination from here, a couple on a date, an hour or two late, dad is angry, and here is our story, and that wet spot is the proof.
Coming Back To LIfe:
in Scottland there was a priest or monk named Oran who wanted to bless a new church in Iona. He had himself buried alive for 20 days. When they opened the tomb, he spoke these words. Heaven is not what it is said to be. Hell is not what it is said to be. The saved are not forever happy The damned are not forever lost.